How can thousands of people across the country all have the same symptoms? This is a question I am often asked regarding Morgellons, and my response has generally been that they don’t, the symptoms are varied, and where the symptoms are similar, there are many known causes for those symptoms.

In my previous article, “Occam’s Hot Tub“, I posited a possible series of events that might lead to someone thinking they had Morgellons, when in reality they had hot tub folliculitus, neurotic excoriations and fiberglass splinters.

But let’s consider a much more common possible cause, one that could account for a very large percentage of cases. Consider if the symptoms of menopause match the symptoms of Morgellons.

First, remember who these thousands of people are. They are the people who filled in an internet form, first at the MRF, and now at OSU. The form is really lacking in epidemiologically useful questions, but does ask which of the following 12 Morgellons symptoms you have:

Lesions or sores
Fibers or filaments on skin
Granules or specks on the skin
Itching or stinging
Hair loss
Joint pain
Biting or crawling feeling on the skin
Mood disorder
Memory or concentration problems
(ex: ‘brainfog’, short term memory loss)
Vision problems
Edema or swelling

Skipping the first three for now (don’t worry, I’ll address them later), let us look at the rest, grouping them as appropiate:

Itching or stinging, Biting or crawling feeling on the skin
“Formication, the feeling that ants or other insects are crawling on their skin, affects about 20% of women during perimenopause and menopause. Formication can cause a woman to scratch herself raw.”
“many women experience severe itching during perimenopause that is unrelated to formication”
Some women experience a prickling, itching sensation on the skin, known as formication. It has been called “crawling skin” because it feels as though tiny insects are marching along your body.”
Menopause: A guide for Women and Those who Love them, Berg and Garcia, 1992, p.76
“Skin tingling or a feeling that unseen insect are crawling across your skin is called formication. It is a symptom of menopausal distress. [...] 20 percent of menopausal women report the problem”

Joint Pain
“Symptoms of menopause you may be experiencing include: [...] Muscle and joint pain
Joint pain is a common complaint in many women and men as we reach middle age.”

Fatigue, Mood disorder, Memory or concentration problems
“Psychologic and emotional symptoms–including fatigue, irritability, insomnia, inability to concentrate, depression, memory loss, headache, anxiety, and nervousness–may be related to estrogen deprivation and the stress of aging and changing roles. Sleep disruption by recurrent hot flushes contributes to fatigue and irritability.”
mood disturbance, irritability, fatigue, decreased libido, memory loss

Vision Problems
Visual capacity, such as the ability to read road signs at night, has been reported to decline by a sample of menopausal women.”
Changes in visual acuity requiring changes in eyeglass prescriptions or other vision problems.”

Hair Loss
“Approximately one-third of menopausal women report noticeable hair loss (called “alopecia”)”
“The most common cause of hair loss is low thyroid function, which is common among menopausal women.

Edema or swelling
Water retention and menopause often go hand in hand since water weight and bloating are caused by decreased progesterone levels.”
Water retention is excessive accumulation of fluid in the body. It occurs in women during menopause or perimenopause when they take estrogen replacement hormones.”

So, 9 out of 12 symptoms are common symptoms of menopause. We can easily make it 10 by including lesions, since “Formication can cause a woman to scratch herself raw.”, but also since a “lesion” can be almost any abnormal change involving any tissue or organ. The most common skin lesion is acne:
“women undergoing menopause and post-menopause may also experience hormonal acne
“Menopausal and post-menopausal women experience a dramatic decrease in estrogen levels, and an increase in testosterone. This causes the skin glands to produce more oil than they usually do, and as a result, more acne breakouts occur.”

So all we are left with is fibers and specks on the skin. If you look, you will find them. I have fibers and specks on my skin right now.

A slightly better survey of Morgellons believers can be found at:

In August 2006, this only had 305 respondents, but of those, 76% are women, and 80% are in the age range 35-60 (the age range of menopause onset), with the highest number in the 50-54 range – the average age of menopause onset)

So, all the symptoms of Morgellons on one internet survey are practically identical to the symptoms of menopause, and the other survey indicates that the vast majority of people with Morgellons are women of menopausal age.

Does this mean that all cases of Morgellons are actually menopause? Obviously not, we’ve got a few men there, and several people with highly odd symptoms, and some children. But the correlation is so staggeringly high, that it seems very likely that as many as half of those 5000+ people who say they have symptoms of morgellons actually have symptoms of menopause.

121 Responses to “Occam’s Menopause”

  1. more bullshit… it is getting harder and harder to think up new crap isn’t it Michael?… guess that is why your blogs just keep getting thinner and thinner…

    btw… you have this listed under “science” when it should be in the “Michael’s disinformational bullshit” category…

    who are you trying to fool here?… are you expecting a slew of dumbasses to visit this site?… but watch, people will actually entertain this one… keep reaching bozo…

  2. Hello I must be a dumbass coz I am going to reply to this topic.

    Very interesting stuff – that Occam bloke gets around doesn’t he Michael. I don’t need to go back to school or uni. I just come to Michael’s blog for education.

    Don’t know if I am menopausal – but it doesn’t matter anyway. It fits in with my family genetics etc anyway. Makes more sense to me than being infected with something from outer space, and I think I would rather worry about having menopause than the latter, at least I am able to sleep at night!

  3. Uh-oh. A protective helmet and safety harnesses ain’t gonna hep ya now, boss.
    Best be slippin’ into that full suit of armour, on this one.

    On a serious note (‘cep I wuz bein’ “serious”, hehehe), quite a few women that I’ve read about, who think they have “morgellons disease”, aren’t real aware of their reproductive health, as well as other things. Thank you, for creating this topic, but….

    buckle down tightly, now!!! HA!!!

  4. If Morgellons is real, then the truly afflicted are well served by having those with other, known conditions excluded from the equation by proper diagnosis and treatment. All you need to prove your case, MAF’er, is a single patient with “Morgellons”. What you don’t need is hundreds of other patients who can be shown to be suffering known parasites, advanced Lyme, menopause or (dare I say it) DOP.

    If you choose to lump in everyone with itchy skin, then every time one of those people is diagnosed with a known illness, the Morgellons cause loses credibility.

    Of course, as Jace pointed out, the Morgellons community loses credibility with every hateful rant.

  5. P.S. I believe that the process of eliminating the known until you are left with only the unknown is part of something called the “scientific process”.

  6. Well I’ll be – I am a Scientist in disguise!! Might have to celebrate that one with another cuppa tea………

  7. Jeezelouise – Jace’s comment on the Morgies community losing credibility with hateful rants :

    It seems to look that way from where I sit at the moment. BUT can I add that WHO started their minds thinking this way, and MINE for that matter? Sad isn’t it?

  8. Answer, Sarach: A mentally ill woman, driven really. really bad to try and prove something. Look how she has, by using other people to do her job for her.

  9. Heck YES! The mentally ill woman I think you are referring to – once said “I think the premenstrual syndrome is an infectious disease itself”. I don’t think I would have made it to the age of 15 if my ma had of told me that at 13!! I shake my head….OH what is that black stuff on my finger, I just touched my face!!!……..VEGEMITE from my toast….!!!! Hehe.

  10. “I think the premenstrual syndrome is an infectious disease itself”.

    Crap! I caught it from my friends!!! And now they claim to have a new disease called “goddammitmenopause”. Am I going to catch that, too?!?!?

  11. Jeezelouise – I am not a doctor so I can not give you a diagnosis over the internet.

    BUT – if I were you I would go with – “goddammitmenopause” at least it can be treated – alternatively you can have Morgellons and go completely insane!

  12. A study in Scotland showed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ovulating
    she is attracted to men with rugged, masculine features and if she is menstruating she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors shoved into his temple.

  13. Sarah, everyone I know has “goddammitmenopause”. I am not leaving the house again! I do NOT want to catch that!!

  14. NOW that is VERY funny!

    I came off the contraceptive pill when I came off psych meds (docs instructions). I think good idea to try to help clear some of this infection from me.

    After my recent experiences off the pill (ie. going insane) – some folk around me have suggested maybe I go back on it! I will be addressing this issue next week, especially before the full moon. I don’t seem to do things by halves these days, my cycle has been arriving on the same day as the full moon!! YES – it does give me and my family a laugh, after we have ALL recovered.

  15. My daughter’s cycle also coincides with lunar phases, something we’d not noticed until her fiancee refused to set a wedding date without consulting a calendar and making sure the date was nowhere near the full moon ;)

  16. Here’s a good menopause resource I missed:

    With a few relevent quotes on commonly reported “Morgellons” symptoms:

    “Diminished levels of estrogen at menopause, including early menopause, contribute to a decline in skin collagen and thickness.”

    “Some women who experiencing natural menopause will develop acne (especially those who had acne during their teen years), usually due to an increase in the ratio of the hormone androgen to estrogen.”

    “Women experiencing natural menopause can have excessive hair growth in areas of the body where hair follicles are most androgensensitive, such as the chin, upper lip, and cheeks. This condition is thought to be due to the imbalance of androgen to estrogen associated with the decreased estrogen levels. Women often report a large “rogue hair” on their chin that seems to grow to a great length almost overnight.”

    “After menopause, even early menopause, women may have an increase in tooth loss, need for dentures, and gingival (gum) bleeding and inflammation.”

    “Women at menopause may experience more anxiety because of physical and psychological changes as well as other stressors. Although anxiety usually resolves without treatment, it may accompany or be a warning sign of a panic disorder. Symptoms of a panic attack include shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness, heart palpitations, and/or feelings of “going crazy” or being out of control.”

    “Around menopause, women frequently report difficulty concentrating or short-term memory problems. These difficulties often frighten women, who may think they have early symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease.”

    “Although some individuals feel embarrassed or even ashamed about revealing their mental health problems, no one should suffer in silence.”

  17. “Around menopause, women frequently report difficulty concentrating or short-term memory problems. These difficulties often frighten women, who may think they have early symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease.”

    Huh. And here I was blaming that on the tequila shots.

  18. Michael – thank you. Please stop reading my mind! – it sounds like me above!! not the chin hair though!

    I will read through that link later.

    So true about the oestrogen thing – I saw it in my own mum. My mum,sis and me have a lady doc in town we go see for womans health issues, top lady. I think I will be off to see her next week.

    For me now – it is the psychological distress that I am having trouble dealing with. My skin of course has upset me no end, but it is looking so much better, introducing omega oils as well as others (mixed in one bottle) and drinking the oil I think has really helped me. Each person I think needs to try things, trial and error to see what works best I guess.

    Michael – “No one should suffer in silence” – well I have been until your blog site – I do hope someone will gather up my posts one day and write a book, I think it would be rather funny don’t you? I can not carry the embarrassement anymore, if I do – I will never get better – what do you think? All this MRF stuff has made me rather insecure.

    No wonder some woman have a sex change operation, they obviously didn’t go visit the right doctor soon enough.

  19. Could someone possibly offer a referral to the insects that have been diagnosed with Morgellons – maybe there are menopausal too.

    How do I turn my Digital Blue QX5 Microscope into a telescope. Lying in bed last night watching the football I could not read the score – I turned to the engineer next to me and asked if he had any idea. He has trouble looking at me sometimes, coz he says I am very funny lady, and his ribs hurt when I make him laugh too much! – well it was Friday night and the man has worked hard all week – he is doing VERY well with the alcohol, very proud of him (day at a time).

  20. he is doing VERY well with the alcohol, very proud of him (day at a time).

    EXCELLENT news!

    I dunno about the rest of your question, though ;)

  21. i wasn’t aware that the onset of menopause and menopause symptoms elude so many woman… hell, even doctors cannot diagnose this usually normal part of the female aging process… but then they cannot diagnose skin problems very well either…

    no wonder it is very likely that up to 2500 mrf registrants could just be suffering from menopause… i wonder how many of these 2500 saw one or more doctors for their symtoms?… guess it doesn’t matter really because they evidently don’t know much about menopause and neither do their doctors…

    too bad those fibers and nasty skin lesions weren’t in the mix confusing everyone…

    you people are actually entertaining this line of thinking?… how ’bout you tc… have you gone through menopause yet?…

    Michael… you are either an idiot or a genius… but i’m thinking idiot… keep trying

    smileykins… i have been thinking about you… i love you so much… i masturbated alot today… kisses!!!

  22. MAFER,

    Shut up and go pick some fibers off your balls

  23. As for the 5,000+ “registered” at MRF, I know for sure that at least 3 of those were me (I don’t have Morgellons) just testing the counter. That number is meaningless, anyone can tick it up.

  24. To MAFer – Your comment about ‘masturbation’ – I find this extremely offensive. I am not a prude – for me suffering a physical illness and I am quite possibly going through early menopause (my doc will work on this one for me soon). Do not paint a picture of sex and masturbation as sicko behaviour. This is a natural process in life, and any woman (including me) should embrace this. Please go read that link that Michael posted, I have just finished reading it. EXCELLENT! Will be printing up to run by my ma.

    I don’t have Morgellons either – go get your medical book out, you will not find it in the index, because there is no such thing as Morgellons Disease.

  25. Sarah, don’t get your hopes too set on early menopause. While it’s quite possible that you are going through menopause, it’s also possible that you are not, and something else (or a combination of things) is causing your symptoms. Best to talk with your gynecologist before jumping to any conclusions.

  26. I agree Michael – I DON’T want early menopause – but after reading that link it is very fitting of my current psychological distress, family history so on and so on. BUT I will let the lady doc be the judge, I guess she will do routine bloods and all that stuff.

    If is early menopause – so what – part of life.

    I say to people around me – IF YOU THINK BAD it will be BAD. IF YOU THINK GOOD it will be GOOD. That is part of my self healing.

    Yes a combination of things is an excellent point – this is why woman like myself do become a “diagnostic dilemma” – we are such complex – yet beautiful creatures, you know you men just can’t live without us hey – Just that one week out of each month!!! haha

  27. The more often you create endorphin releases through performing your exercises, the better you’re gonna feel, MAF. I think doctors are great at determining perimenopause/menopause, but I think they’re usually great at diagnosing what you’re calling nasty skin lesions, and a whole lot of other things, too. I hate that you have problems causing you so much distress, but I haven’t been trying to joke around when Ive asked if you have high blood sugar. So, would you even know it if you did? Are you excessively thirsty and can’t seem to quench your thirst? If you’re itching and have lesions that aren’t healing, provided you’re not bothering them, really, you could have diabetes. Your on line disposition puts me in mind of someone with uncontrolled diabetes. It’s obvious that you feel awful, and I’m sorry that you do.

  28. Occam’s Diabetes:

    Some (Morgellons) symptoms of diabetes: Fatigue, itching, slow healing sores, blurred vision, tingling or numbness in the hands or feet, loose teeth, irritability, mood changes.,,hco_8qtfx51s,00.html

  29. well… looks like i have some things i can address here…

    911… nice name… are you an emergency or a national tragedy?… no fibers on my balls… you might check your tounge though…

    jeeezelouise… Michael threw that number out first… read the initial blog starter… see Michael, you are a dumbass after all…

    sarahconner… i find it offensive when someone who does not know me tells me they love me… it is shallow and pretensive… especially when i was being mean to her in the first place… maybe she likes the abuse… call it occam’s masturbation if you want… i don’t give a fuck…

    smileykins… my point exactly… if menopause is/should be so easily diagnosed blah blah blah… and if any of these women (possibly 2500 according to bozo) went to their doctor and it is “very likely” that they could be experiencing menopause (again, according to bozo), then why are they still sick and why are they not receiving the appropriate treatment?… if it so easy that is… i’m telling you my little love muffin, that Michael is a dumbass…

    blood pressure?… normal, has never been high
    diabetes?… 44 after a 12 hour fast
    hiv?… no
    std panel?… none, non-reactive
    cbc?… normal, slightly elevated IgM
    lyme?… negative
    tb?… negative
    cancer?… no
    five bacterial cultures?… all negative
    six fungal cultures?… all negative
    fibers?… dop
    lesions?… dop

    pointless discussion isn’t it?… because it is NOT very likely that half of the mrf registrants are going through menopause… talk about a fucking delusion… michael will probably have you all drinking tainted kool-aid next… bottoms up!

  30. smileykins… my point exactly… if menopause is/should be so easily diagnosed blah blah blah… and if any of these women (possibly 2500 according to bozo) went to their doctor and it is “very likely” that they could be experiencing menopause (again, according to bozo), then why are they still sick and why are they not receiving the appropriate treatment?… if it so easy that is… i’m telling you my little love muffin, that Michael is a dumbass…

    No, no, no, MAFer. The women that I have in mind aren’t even about to go to anywhere near a doctor, and I think you know better than that, yourself. You know Michael is not a dumbass, and this topic is very logical, (just like all of his topics), and this information may be real assistive to family members of women approaching menopause, or women themselves, who might not be in tune to things. (Well, I guess their family members would be more in tune to it anyway.) This might help any woman at that stage, who thinks she has “morgellons disease” if it isn’t too late. I don’t know though, denial is a big thing with some, and I can fathom plenty that might prefer pinning their symptoms onto a new designer disease, rather than the same old boring ho-hum.

    I’m glad you’re not diabetic. How long ago was it that you had the slightly elevated IgM cuz it may be higher now. Did the doctor have any comments, or did you ask what that meant? Have you had a liver enzyme test? I’m sorry I’ve forgotten, but do you have other symptoms, besides your skin problem? Do you think I ask too many questions? Do you remember a cartoon, “Sniffles”, who was a mouse that talked non-stop and asked annoying questions? Huh? Do ya? Huh? Huh? Do ya remember, Sniffles, the mouse? Huh?

  31. MAFer, sure, if they go to a doctor, and describe their symptoms, they will probably be diagnosed with menopause. There’s still a lot of problems with that.

    Menopause does not explain weird fibers growing out of the skin, so they can still go from doctor to doctor, and the doctors will “blow them off” as menopausal DOPers.

    If they KNOW they are going through menopause (it can take over ten years for the symptoms to stop), do they know that formication is a common menopause symptom? Ann Dill on ABC said she hesitated to mention it felt like “bugs crawling”, yet it’s a perfectly normal symptom of many problems, including menopause.

    They may feel they are too young for menopause, so it must be the fibers.

    We are talking about 2500 normal people who registered with the MRF, not your hard core morgies such as Lymebusters and yourself, lots of room for them in the other 2500. Let’s say 2500 menopausal women out of the millions who have seen the media coverage feel it might explain what is going on with them, so they fill in the survey. Is that so unlikely?

    They fill in the survey after watching the media coverage, who knows how they feel the next week, or now. All the “5000+” number represents if people who, on one day, felt their symptoms seemed similar to those on the survey. They almost certainly filled in the survey BEFORE discussing Morgellons with their doctor.

    Lots of morgies say they AVOID doctors, after a few bad experiences, or because they have no insurance. Aherah can weigh in here.

  32. I just knew I shouldn’t have looked tonight – BUT – something was bugging me.

    MAFer – PLEASE EXPLAIN!! Who the hell are you?? Why would I say I love you if I obviously don’t know you? Are you male, female, a cross dresser (by the sounds of it a complete flippin idiot) or MARY LEITAO?

    And to be perfectly honest – I am really pissed off that I looked, I would rather go to bed – BUT after reading , this is really confusing me people.

  33. for many, discussing morgellons with your doctor has been a one-way dop ticket… you know that… it is thankfully getting better and easier thanks to the media generating public awareness… you worry about the media causing panic and mis-inforamtion among the general public… fuck the general public… even while morgellons disease currently remains unfounded, without the media, doctors will continue to let people suffer… my current doctor who is both a derm and an internist, and, is the only one out of 17 that i have seen for this that is worth a fuck at all, called me out of the blue on thursday… hadn’t spoke to him for several months… he wanted to inform me that the cdc is researching morgellons and he believed there is hope for me… i already knew the cdc was finally getting involved… but i thanked him for his consideration none the less… he is willing to help me in any way he can…

    hardcore morgie?… not really… i am a human being and an american citizen… both of which i used to be proud of… too bad we have reached an era once again where it is a crime to be sick in america…

    as for your numbers… no more scientific or statistically relevant for your side of the fence than the other…

    you are a disinformationalist and a back-peddler to boot… your theories are paper thin… you actually have way less evidence on your side than do the morgellons’s victims… you are gonna lose this information war… there will be far too many against you… the evidence of this crime will ultimately speak for itself…

  34. sarahconner… you did not say you love me and i know that… smileykins has repeatedly said she loves me… you need to read the blogs a little closer don’t you?…

    and, who the hell are you?… if you are so pissed off, why don’t you go away?…

    why would you think i am mary leitao?… do i type like her or something?…

  35. No I won’t go away because I want to figure this out. I re read your post okay – I got confused – Christ all mighty – I have been very UNWELL you know!!

    You wanna know my reason for thinking you were Mary Leitao – because after my experience – I thought she was a nice lady, BUT since all this shit – ANYTHING is possible.

    Surely you are not TallCotton?? Look I have read through the story of TC and Smiley, but not word for word, line for line, I couldn’t you know – I felt I read what I needed to read, you were both unwell, found Mary and then Lymebusters and Smiley saved you. Am I missing something. This is getting really confusing.

    Can I phone a friend please, or maybe ask the audience?

  36. MAFer is just some guy who thinks he has Morgellons and also believes there is some cover-up going on. He’s certainly NOT TallCotton.

  37. Thank GOD for that…

  38. Sarach,
    Michael is right. I am NOT MAFer. He’s someone that came here in attack mode, spitting out obscenities. He’s another schizo having paranoid delusions.
    Tall Cotton

  39. MAFer, what great news. A doctor going out of their way to call us at home is a very good thing. Of course, I see this as you do, which is, that it’s an excellent indication that your doctor wants to help you.

    If this leads on to him doing the appropriate diagnostic tests and he seeks the cause of your skin manifestations, that is the right course of action for him to take. That is why I’d asked how long it had been since you’d had the slight elevation in your IgM, and I wondered if there was to be any followup on it, and that’s why I’d also asked about your liver enzymes.

    There is another side of the coin, though, that you can’t see. I don’t expect you to, and neither would I see it, if I were in your position, believing in “morgellons disease”.

    All right, fine. Let’s say your doctor is the type of person (bear in mind, doctors are people, first, doctors, second) who gets swept away easily, by hype. In my opinion, he is. Would he have made the call to you if he knew what “morgellons disease” is all about? Hell, I’d sure hope not. Therein lies a major problem I’m against.

    This nonsense has spread to doctors and nurses who are obviously influenced into believing in it without knowing the facts behind it, through gullibility, or they’re just plain, flat out, unethical, but there is something going on here, that’s clouding and blocking their objectvity. Maybe your doctor is even feeling a tinge of guilt, if you’d brought “morgellons disease” up to him previously? I don’t what is the matter with all of the professionals signing onto this, but I know it’s dead wrong.

    He’d better not “just try and treat” whatever skin problems you have, which could just continue, and continue, and continue, if he’s got it into his head that he can treat you for a freakin’ “non-existent disease”.

    I know you can’t see this the way I do. I do hope, very much, that you get in to see your doctor so that you can see if you have an immune complex disease, or possible problems with your liver, or kidneys. Good luck, and I really hope for the best for you!!!

  40. oh yes you are TC!!! HaHa, gotcha! You know I love you…..(don’t you roll your eyes here either)

    Have a good one,i ENJOYED reading this blog today!


  41. Sarach, I’m sorry for all the confusion going on. The take you have on our stories isn’t exactly how things went, with us both being recovered before we, (unbeknownst to each other at the time), arrived at Lymebusters on the same date to tell of our past experiences (and, I didn’t save TC), but it’s quite good enough. I had seen someone discussing their interpretation of us, on here, a while back, and I didn’t correct them. I was simply too close to being flattered that they didn’t walk away from reading our stories and come here yelling about us being something other than we are, so I let it sit, uncorrected. Hahaha!! You’re doing great. Let’s toast a cup of tea, shall we? Cheers, and a hug, to ya!!

  42. This IS the hardest thing I have ever done in my life – well in fact I will speak from the heart here – I have done this all my life – just fighting to be ME. Does sound right? I have been the meat in the sandwich from day dot and I still feel that way. Can not seem to do right no matter which way I turn.

    The link Michael left me under “Wymore breaks from MRF” – I read it. I have always known it. I do not quite understand the COMPLETE workings, but if I just throw MYSELF into description/diagnosis alone (victim) oh shit!

    No wonder I ended up qutting from counselling and trying to find another time after time. She wanted to know EVERYTHING we talked about. MY personal stuff. She was scared I was pointing the finger at her. Shit though she did scare me and sis a lot though when we were little, with being unwell, fainting, tantrums etc etc. Please tell me stop if I should, because if I have to open this tin of worms which has been open and shut my entire life – I want to OPEN completely and then CLOSE if I can. Why is it that Guilt has always been my second name? I never did anything wrong. She looks a damn sight lot better than me. She still had the neve yesterday to take close inspection of the outbreaks on my face, with some having heads and pustules, and I could see her craving eyes. I kept saying, this is a GOOD thing, it means the infection is clearing, yes ma it shits me – but I will get over it, I just gotta ignore it.

  43. You need to separate yourself from her, Sarach. Nothing was ever any of her business, about anything that was said in your counselling sessions. It may be a little late, you may feel, to do this, but it’s never too late. You’re an adult, and she has to come to terms with that. You lay the ground rules down. Just don’t be so available to her, and try to distance yourself.

  44. Smiley – you wanna know something really funny?

    I started with eczema just after I got married (1st one!) at 19.

  45. I was as fit as a fiddle you know, very athletic, I was never allowed to pursue this (athletics running). I feel like an absolute BITCH telling you this stuff, coz I have been asked about my CHILDHOOD so many times through therapy, and yes once again I told the TRUTH.

    I really had to throw my arms up in the air years ago and damn well give in, to her controlling my friggin life, you know down to what I ate (who the hell sprinkles fiber like oates on their fruit for desert!!) Well that is what I had to eat and I was 24, you know it kept you regular!!!. I tried to tell her that it was really interfering with my job at work going to the ladies room about 6 times a day not to mention the continual wiping of my b..ouch.

  46. (deleted by request of the author)

  47. You are who is the most important person in your life, Sarach. You may need a change, and a drastic one. In our 20s is the time to let them know where they stand. If not done then, I have seen it never end for many people.

  48. Smiley – When you said distance youself from her – I had a wave of nausea (had to be pyschosomatic) because I have had a nice big breaky and really enjoyed it.

    I can not begin to imagine where the hell I begin with this – shit I am starting to cry and I don’t want to . I can not explain a lot of things that happened when i was young, I tried my sis tried to help me, she felt the same, now her and I are worlds apart. Sis said to mum a couple of years back when all this kicked in “I feel like I lost my sister years ago” – well HELLO I have always been here, just trying to get on with it, but it was never good enough. I had to do the careers she had chosen for me, I could not make a decision, my growing had been stomped on, not aloud to make my own mistakes. So when I did make mistakes, I was the worse person in the world. BUT that is how we learn. She hasn’t changed her mind set, BUT I have and she can not see that. I know that her conversations can drive most people to dispear, because they do not need a lecture on what to eat to keep them regular – you get the picture don’t you.

    Shit – I just read back over that – sounds very similar to some of Leitaos rants, not exact, but that manipulative method of food control etc.

    Well the child in the house needs to use the computer! – he won’t be long – at least it will shut him up When he opens his mouth to say, don’t you think you should stay away from the computer, I say listen here you – thats how I found that mad bitch Leitao and her clowns and this is the only way I am going to get rid of her and hopefully everyone else RECOVERY Tony, my recovery, get it through your thick head.

  49. Just quick I will be back though – I tried, I really tried, my marriage ended.

    Get this – Just because she did not like the thought of me holiday in the Gold Coast Suffers Paradise, she said “Your dad and I won’t be very happy with you if you go there on holiday with your husband”, I did go, and she didn’t speak to me for a long after, and the misery just continued. Oh yeah – it just gets friggin worse – and how I smile I do not know.

  50. i am not mary… don’t even know her… i know who she is but that is all… i am not tc either… it is easy to tell us apart… i am the one with the balls…

    i am not delusional or suffering from any other somatic disorder… anger is a form of depression… granted, this situation is depressing… but mostly, i am just angry…

    sk… it doesn’t really matter what you think of my doctor… you don’t even know him… he is one of the top derms in my state… he is familiar with the term morgellons and what people call morgellon’s symptoms, but he is not a “morgellons doctor”… he will follow the cdc’s protocol if/when they advise one… but his compassion and medical skills are excellent…

    my liver panels have always been normal… elevated IgM is usually indicative of seasonal allergies… most likely pollen or mold… my levels were not off the charts by any means however… i did say slightly elevated… blood pressure is always normal too… all tests thus far say that i am healthy…

    london… you’re full of shit as usual… but that’s just you isn’t it… but hey, at least you have the fun part… you get to play the role of the confuser… you jump in wherever whenever just to confuse the fuck out of everyone… i usually just laugh at you…

  51. I have to say, this latest blog is particularly humorous to me. No, it’s downright hillarious. Hmmmm…someone needs to tell my son that instead of getting ready for kindergarten, he should be getting ready for menopause. Michael, you make more sense as the days go on (yes, I am being facetious).

  52. MAFer Says:
    August 26th, 2006 at 10:07 pm
    london… you’re full of shit as usual… but that’s just you isn’t it… but hey, at least you have the fun part… you get to play the role of the confuser… you jump in wherever whenever just to confuse the fuck out of everyone… i usually just laugh at you…

    So do I laugh at that too MAFer ….. and didn’t LONDON do an amazing job…she kept me alive.

  53. sarahconner… an amazing job at what?… london hasn’t lent an ounce of credibility to morgellons disease… i guess she’s on your side…

  54. This is not about taking SIDES MAFer!!


  55. MAFer – London made me laugh – was confusing at times!!

    Morgellons Disease does not deserve credibility because there is no such thing as Morgellons Disease.

  56. MAFer,

    Balls?? You’re just showing everyone you’re NUTS. That’s all!

    Tall Cotton

  57. tc… 911 told me to go pick fibers out of my balls… is he nuts too?… you are probably just having a hot flash tc… it is perfectly normal when you are going through menopause… i am sorry to hear you are in such distress…

  58. MAFer, is there a problem with Sarah (or anyone) enjoying a little levity in life? Is that not permitted in Morgieland?

  59. sarah… every conflict has sides… usually three… your side, their side, and the truth… and this is a conflict isn’t it?…

    i will re-phrase… london hasn’t lent an ounce of credibility to the condition known as morgellons… i guess she’s not on mary’s side…

  60. Frankly, MAFer, you yourself have done very little for the credibility of “Morgellons”.

  61. jeeezelouise… well that depends on what rank she holds in morgieland… usually only the grand pupas are allowed these types of frivolous whims… me for example, i am not allowed… but then i am not as confused, insecure, vulnerable, and fucked up in the head as she is… i am working on it though… and, with a little help from my make believe parasites, i figure i can make grand pupa in a year or so…

  62. Why are you attacking Sarah, MAFer?

  63. Sarach, that comment, ““Your dad and I won’t be very happy with you….”

    The solution to that is, do not share anything you have planned with her. Ever. Just do it. She is not about to change. You can, though. Strategy is what you need. Her manipulation can go away without her even realizing it’s taking place. I’m glad you’re having a break from it. (Oh, your poor dad.)

    MAFer I am so relieved. Are you planning on seeing your doctor soon? You will share things with us, I hope.

    Where is that London, anyway? She must either be practicing her skills for the festival, or there’s a concert taking place in her house.

  64. why are you attacking me jl?…

  65. What exactly do you consider an attack, MAFer? Something like this?

    i am not as confused, insecure, vulnerable, and fucked up in the head as she is

    You ain’t been attacked … yet.

  66. that was an observation… you labled it an attack… and i wouldn’t do it if i were you…

    btw… you missed…

  67. Oooh, shall I consider myself warned?

    BTW, I wasn’t swinging .. yet.

  68. swing and you can consider yourself fucked…

  69. It’s after 3 a.m. in SC, Mary. Go to bed.

  70. i guarantee you i am not mary… but i am an injured animal…

  71. Oooooh, I’m scared. Good night, Mary.

  72. you forgot to say goodnite to drew… shall i do it for you?

  73. MAFer,

    Hey, I’m sorry if you think I posted something about you that was hurtful or rude. I don’t ever remember doing that, but I apologize in advance if I did.

    Or are you saying I intentionally try to confuse people? Hell, for starters, I’m about the most upfront person there is….I am confused a lot myself….but I always say that if perhaps I post an article and I don’t really understand it that well.

    but try to deliberately confuse people? Nope, you’r wrong there…hey, get my email from someone and I will be happy to correspond or even call you…..honestly, I will.

    I just acidentally ran into this blog site about the middle of June and had a great laugh my ass off session. I don’t know any of the bloggers here….also, I don’t give a rat’s ass if I have given any credibility to our disease or not. (I do but I don’t, you know?) Look the Lymebusters F.sticks phucked me over!!! Wasted so much of my GD time there…..they are nothing more than a monitoring site for our disease….(my opinion…) and…..Like I have always said, I would guess 80-85% of thier regular posters are ghost writters for the cover up of our disease. So, yes, anytime some sick poster gets close to a correct explanation to our illness, they all come out and gangbang you…..that’s alright, what came around to me, certainly already made a full circle and went to them….

    The most maddening part to me was the damn time spent on research….for instance,. I found and posted some stuff last Nov. 04 >>that was o4, but no one ever said much about it , blah, blah,….or they said, “Oh no London, that is not it…” so dumnbarse me for got about the cool finds…, as I haVE actually really found some stuff, well, come to find out, I had some of this same info back in Nov….7 months prior….just wasted my time…

    I feel that there is also this type of confusers both on biology-online and here as well. (I dunno though, just a gut feeling.) Hell, don’t even bring me taking up for Mary or whatever you said….I have never talked nor dealt with her-ever!

    I can’t say anything bad about her and never have because I have never met her..MAFer, I really don’t care if I have not done anything to help the cause of morg or not in others’ eye, because)(by the way, your name is starting to kill me….I acutually find myself saying it outloud as I typed it…:)

    i WILL TELL YOU THIS, I certainly do not agree wit Michael and the gang on this being delusional.. but that does not mean I cannot still be nice to them AND ENJOY THEIR POST,,,,PLUS, IN MY OPINION, THEY HAVE REALLY CHILLED OUT AND TURNED IT INTO


    AND MAFer, will tell you something else….I still don’t beleve that fiasco with Mary Leito even went down…Now, I duno or not it’s just my guess…..and again, sorry if I offended you…

  74. Another thing that may be going on is an allergy to a very common substance. I, for example, am allergic to neoprene. Neoprene touches my skin and it’s Detroit Hive City. I can’t put enough layers between myself and neoprene to make the hives not happen. You won’t *believe* the stuff they make out of neoprene! I was getting an awful rash under my arm, then I realized my cell phone carrier was made of…..neoprene! The small amount of contact between my skin and the neoprene cell phone carrier on my purse was enough.

  75. Excellent point, but, Tinfoil Hat Merchant, doesn’t it make more sense, though, to think that those are angry morgie critters biting you? (We can ‘splain, and ‘splain, and ‘splain, but it can’t make it through.) I have to be real careful about the things I touch also, (hehe, it makes my critters take it out on me, too!!)

  76. London – I am pleased to see you are okay, I am doing okay also.

    For the moment I just have to put up living in a house with piss head who needs hitting over the head with that bottle of vodka he keeps sucking on. He would rather blame my GOOD family for his problems, he can got to hell.

    I wouldn’t have a damn clue about those people to do with MRF or Mary Leitao and I don’t even care.

    I know that I have been used quite enough through this bullshit – and to those people who have pressed my buttons (and YOU all know who you are) – you need to get a life, take a good look at yourselves and your own problems. To those that have helped me THANK YOU.

    Just proves to me that woman are the stronger sex.

  77. Hi Sara, yes, I have not been online too much w/ now going back to work etc., plus Michael is off on the weekends so I stay off the computer a lot more. I hope you are doing okay too.

    Michael are ANYONE ELSE THAT MIGHT KNOW….I need your advice. They say that teachers and nurses comprise the highest vitims of Morgellons/ fiber disease. Well, I said this before but just really guessing at my answer but now I think I am right.

    What I said my opinion for the reason that the most patients are nurses and teachers was probabbly due to the fact that they are exposed to the chilled water, evaporate towers. Remember Legionaires disease in the 70′s? It was from this….and just five weeks ago there was 3 deaths in San Antonio, Tx. due to Legionaires disease….

    okay, this is where I need advice…I live and own in a condo that also has this evaporative cooling tower as well.

    About 6 months before I came down with this full blown man-made plague that is not in my head but also physicallly on my body I began to get these rashes immediately following a shower…and the most intense, painful itching to go along with it….one time I was standing drying off and my shins began to feel the quick forming itch. Not 30 seconds had gone by when I looked into the mirror and saw now that the redness, rash and burning with the intense itch had now quickly dispersed and spread up to my neck. Let me tell you, this itch made the usual itching that goes along with our disease seem minor in comparison.

    This also happened to my husband as well. (who showers in a complete different room). My bathroom was the one that had had a water leak under the sink.

    Now, I recently learned that the Plasmas that I speak of (the ones from the photonic fusions, etc., ) well, not that the ones necessarily just in the air…(aerosols) that are causing problems, but they are using the PLasmas to treat wastewater with…..Please do not come back and say “oh no London, this is not right” for that is what
    Lymebusters would do. Plus, a fact is a fact dammit. I’m not asking do they do this, for I know they do….then again, I’m only wanting some help with the problem that they have created.

    I know all about the ocean and that’s where they are gettting there precious silicone…..yes, I do. I’m talking the rocks, the thermal stuff, the plates, ridges, etc…..but I don’t wanna go there….all I want is some help…the kind that comes with truth and sincerity.

    Here’s the million dollar question…..since I have already been exposed to bad water…should I move? Would this help?

    Please, I would really appreciate honesty and sagacious advice….

    Thank you,


    PS: Jennifer, hows the weather there? You’re in North Dekota or was it North Carolina (prob., the latter since that is where you guys “god” Venter lives….Take care Jennifer…

  78. Hello there crazy lady London!! Nice to hear you are okay.

    I feel I am stretching the word okay. I keep having to literally push my chin up.

    You said in your post teachers and nurses with this – I am not a teacher nor a nurse. I would love to be a prophet though – beats being a puppet.

    I have worked in many hospitals though, all my family have, mum (retied) and sis nurses. My dad worked in hosptals also he was an engineer, so if you want to talk about water you have come to the right place.

    My dad has this amazing water filter system, he got it after he was diagonosed with cancer, I was only 14 then. It takes the chemicals out. It is not permantely hooked up to the tap – he has a routine – fills glass bottles, very organised.

    And London where the hell are you going to move to – we are surrounded by water!! Would you like me to design you a new space suit?!!!!

    Man-made plague – funny lady – stop reading my mind.

    London – you DON’T have Morgellons Disease ok, no such thing. Take care

  79. London,

    The water evaporation system is fed with fresh water. That water circulates through the evaporator. The evaporator is a heat exchanger that remeoves the heat from the air that circulates though the system. The water does not reenter the system. It evaporates into the atmosphere. The system does not add to, or take away from, the purity of the water that you drink or bathe in.

    Tall Cotton

  80. Oh Bless you TC!

    Sara, do you think that is how they punished you? by taking the water filter off when you needed it? HAHA just joking w/cha!

    I’m sorry dammit, but I just have to share:

    A Cloning Poem

    Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was slightly grey,
    It didn’t have a father, just some borrowed DNA.

    It sort of had a mother, though the ovum was on loan,
    It was not so much a lambkin, as a little lamby clone.

    And soon it had a fellow clone, and soon it had some more,
    They followed her to school one day, all cramming through the door.

    It made the children laugh and sing, the teachers found it droll,
    There were too many lamby clones, for Mary to control.

    No other could control the sheep, since their programs didn’t vary,
    So the scientists resolved it all, by simply cloning Mary.

    But now they feel quite sheepish, those scientists unwary,
    One problem solved, but what to do, with Mary, Mary, Mary!

  81. But now they feel quite sheepish, those scientists unwary,
    One problem solved, but what to do, with Mary, Mary, Mary!

    Take the children away from her

    Shave her hair off and put her on medication???

    and then maybe lock her up – please

  82. Hi, London!! Don’t move out of your condo. My skin (my kid’s too), reacts to water. It’s variable, and I just always attributed it to flucuations in chlorine levels, but I don’t know. Hot baths & showers are totally forbidden, with skin problems such as eczema. My derm doc (from way back when), said to use tepid water only, and to preferably get through bathing in under 5 minutes.

    The skin should be patted dry gently rather than rubbed vigorously. Many people with itching benefit from an over-the-counter moisturizing cream applied right after bathing. The moisturizer should be odorless and colorless, because additives that provide color or scent may irritate the skin and even cause itching. Bathing washes away surface oils, allowing the skin to dry out. Dry skin may become irritated and often itches — sometimes it sloughs off in small flakes and scales. Scaling most often affects the lower legs. Rubbing or scratching dry skin can lead to infection and scarring.

  83. Oh, thanks for sharing that cute poem. Hey, this may not pertain to you London, but I recall having read about some linear red marks you had, once. Here is a page on Angioedema, but scroll down to Dermographism and just have a look at what it says. My skin does that as well, but there’s not too many things my sensitive skin hasn’t done. I’m just that way, and real used to stuff. I’m not “diagnosing” you, but I know you have better sense than to even think such a thing. It’s just some interesting stuff I’m passing along.

  84. Smiley- I just wanted to say I read a statement of yours from the archives that I agree with you 100% on. You said that you hoped there WAS a morgellons disease, because what would happen to all the people who think that’s their problem. I have to say I worry what will happen if the CDC and/or we don’t find anything. I worry about the mental and physical health of those who believe they are morgellons patients. I guess we cross that bridge if and when we come to it, but I hope with all my heart it doesn’t get to that point. Not that I want anybody to have a nasty disease, but I do worry quite a bit about the ramifications if there isn’t one. And please know, I’m not the enemy-I’m just seeing an entirely different side of things than you are.

  85. I don’t what to spread hysteria either, I keep asking for help in the nicest possible way I can. It isn’t working and it hasn’t for 10 years.

    Was Mary thinking this when she thought up the name Morgellons Disease?

    Quick definitions (morganatic)

    adjective: (of marriages) of a marriage between one of royal or noble birth and one of lower rank; valid but with the understanding that the rank of the inferior remains unchanged and offspring do not succeed to titles or property of the superior
    Word origin info is available.

  86. This is very interesting people.

    I just sat back and read that definition again, penny dropped!!

    I was born in England, I know my ancestry.

    I was doing my family tree on line and became too sick to complete it, so I guess my family tree has been open slather for all the arse wipes out their – researching my entire family – could thing I know in my own mind how far back mines goes.

    Sad thing for me is that I fell into yet another internet scam through the website I was using for my research and building my tree. I allowed a member to access my family tree, she asked permission, she said we had a match.

    Crazy really the timing of it all – I was really sick, just like I am now but back then I had a lot more hope, I still have hope but I have no idea about the rest.

  87. Pity I am having trouble spelling,typing, concentrating.

  88. Can I add – the member who contacted me on that website – it happened about a month ago, I sent her a message asking if she had checked since she said we had a match – I don’t know if the are a match, maybe someone out their could tell me.

    My ancestors go back to the Lords of Tatton Park in Cheshire North England, right where I was born.

    So I think by now there are a lot of people who know far too much about me for their own good. You don’t know everything.

  89. I keep getting a reminder for my “friends reunited membership” – I can’t even consider it, I don’t have a credit card, and I can’t afford it anyway, Tony paid on his card, and I just gave him the cash.

    So I guess they are wanting to stick their nose in their also, hack in dickheads you’ve been doing it along enough, it is not always the government at work trying to hurt people, it is the maggots and parasites in society who just do not like to abide by certain laws.

    If it is someone inside the government, get rid of them!!

    Mary Leitao loved the catch phrase – “The people in this group have very loose boundaries”

    Not as loose as yours Mary – I have always been a law abiding citizen. “Do unto others as they do unto you”.

  90. Good night people.

  91. Why thank you wise women…..(not you Sara, but Smiley!)

  92. Smileykins Says:
    August 28th, 2006 at 4:47 am
    Oh, thanks for sharing that cute poem. Hey, this may not pertain to you London, but I recall having read about some linear red marks you had, once. Here is a page on Angioedema, but scroll down to Dermographism and just have a look at what it says. My skin does that as well, but there’s not too many things my sensitive skin hasn’t done. I’m just that way, and real used to stuff. I’m not “diagnosing” you, but I know you have better sense than to even think such a thing. It’s just some interesting stuff I’m passing along.

    Smileykins – I had never heard of this disorder before. My skin does the same.

  93. London – I really have no idea about cloning, what is does, or what is involved.

    All I can say through my experience is that Mary and her idiot mates had some insight into lots of things. Enough information to become very dangerous, which they all have.

    I feel like a baby “furrby” I just seem to learn and learn as I go along.

    They have learnt alot out of me.

    They all controlled me. I don’t know why or how they did it.

  94. SarachConnor,

    Dang, there’s a lot of Sarahs here! ;)

    I’ve had that sort of hives for years, along with friction hives, pressure hives and heat hives ;) The dermographic are by far the most interesting, and can even be entertaining! For instance, I once completely freaked out a group of my daughter’s friends who’d decided to watch The Exorcist during a slumber party at my house. I just quietly went into the kitchen and “wrote” things on my arms, then rejoined the group and waited for the inevitable welts to form. It was hysterical!

  95. Jeezelouise – I am not even going to think about what you said. The thought of the Exorcist please don’t go there. I was scared to death of that movie, I remeber I was 13 and wanted to sleep with sis coz I was frightened, I couldn’t fit in the bed with her so I slept on the sheepskin rug on the floor. I laugh about that know. BUT the movie stills scares me.

    What I found interesting whilst suffering this was that I managed to watch a whole heap of scary movies and they didn’t even bother me. This was a way for me to confirm there was something serious going on with my body and mind. No way could I watch one now. I can get scared of the dark at the moment. I have even done what my dad said he did when he was little “sing to myself”, I also used to sit and rock myself – due to the pain, absent spells, not knowing where I was. I literally fell asleept at the bathroom sink one night, and then I realised and thought I must walk out of here and go to bed, so I tried to and walked straight into the the bathroom cupboards, straight ahead the way of was facing. I would love to write a book one day of the crazy shit that has happened to me, BUT I have to get well first, if I can, I have no idea. No one has any fuckin idea to be perfectly honest. Sorry not good to swear at this time of day, I haven’t been up very long.

  96. you paranoid lil one….I was not even thinking of that Sara….when I said you’d pick up on the clone poem it was b/c it ended in Mary, Mary, Mary……

    Word up Gurl, that is the word! Hey where is 911…..? I think it was this poster that said I was delusional when I posted about the fibers being airborne in my home that weekend last august when I came down with the full blown “Man-Made Plague” They replied for me to not be silly or sonething like that….well, okay, I won’t be silly! I simply told that I did indeed have new air filters just replaced before it happened and it was a new expensive kind…like 14 bucks for one or two of them……for that was all I knew. Now look here:

    The advent of the NanoCeram nanoalumina fiber represents a breakthrough in filtration technology.
    As a bioactive filter, NanoCeram fibers can eliminate 99.99999% of many viruses, bacteria, and microbial pathogens in a single pass while retaining high flow rates of fluid through the filter. The pathogens that NanoCeram can be used to eliminate include (but are not limited to) hepatitis A, retroviruses, adenoviruses, coxsackie, Salmonella, Shigella dysenteriae, E. coli 0157:H7, Vibrio cholerae, B. anthracis, and Cryptosporidium parvum. Three characteristics make the fibers ideal for bioactive filtration:

    Chemisorption. In the pH range in which the fibers are used as a filter, viruses and bacteria tend to be negatively charged (acidic) while the fibers tend to be positively charged (basic). Thus, in close proximity, fibers and pathogens form chemical bonds, which filters pathogens from the stream. Plus, the large fiber surface area provides numerous sites at which pathogens can bond.
    Physisorption. Pathogens and fibers also experience physical attraction for each other via Van der Waals forces — attractive forces that exist between particles at very close range.
    Mechanical Trapping. The fibers act as a depth filter with random-size pores. As pathogens pass through the filter, they become enmeshed in the tangle of pores.

    So 911, what do you think there? I dont lie dammit!

  97. London – your post makes no sense to me. Haven’t even read the link, opened but it makes no sense.

    Funny isn’t it you just sound like MARY LEITAO in all that babble. No more games please and I am not paranoid, I am very sick.

  98. Of course you can get well. You’re already much better than you were when you first came to this site, even though you may be to close to see it ;)

    Whatever the source of your health problems, you are clearly a life-long “survivor”. Many years ago, after a series of very difficult set-backs, my mother gave me a lovely pewter brooch called the “Heart of a Survivor”. It’s a heart patched up with band-aids ;)

    I’ve a feeling that you’ve got plenty of band-aids, yourself. I further suspect that you’ll continue to get back up after every bruise and carry on, a little wiser and a little stronger.

    Hang in there. I’m rooting for you.


  99. So what do I do – I have to wait until the 7th September to see a lady doctor I feel I can trust. Don’t you think that scares me. I have told the receptionist I am very sick and to please call me if there is a cancellation.

    Or I could go back to my current doc, sit in the waiting room from anything to at least an hour wait up till 4 hours, my folks waited 4 hours one night to see him. They got rushed out, just like I used to, and we still pay our bill on the way out. I always pay by cash. Sucks hey.

    And that little story I told you about the doctor and Mrs Munster. I base that on my current treating doc because that is what they told me.

  100. I wish someone could sort this shit out.

    I say to myself everyday could Mary Leitao have been that cruel to me for her own reasons only. I can not make sense of that, she promised me I would feel young again soon. Okay I make that decision in my mind because it is written in an email. BUT what am I meant to think. I can’t think straight sometimes, that does not mean to say I can not tell the truth about my own body, which by the way is mine and no one elses.

  101. Sarach, I do not doubt for a minute that you are frightened. Fear is not weakness. The important thing is that you *are* going to get up everyday and do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to get well. And you’re going to do that because people care about you.

    And that’s called courage.

    Courage does not mean never feeling fearful. Courage is about what you do, in spite of being scared.

    I am not familiar with the health care system in Oz, nor do I know how urgent your symptoms are at the moment. Personally, though, I’d be throwing complete fits if I had to wait four hours to see ANY doctor!

  102. I have done all I can do. I have contacted the Australian media, they have acknowledged me. I was told the other week to be patient. I think I have been patient enough. I emailed them again yesterday, said I am a victim through the internet, told them Morgellons Research Foundation, no mention of Mary. Told them what my diagnosis was Rickettsia, the truth and the current doctor that has been treating me. So do I have to go to the trouble of ringing or writing the AMA, this is a down right disgrace.

    I have emailed my shrink and brought all of this to his attention, I have not received a reply, but I appreciate the man is busy. I am asking for help all over, do I have to climb on the roof of the house and yell. Or do I have to go back to my local hospital that turned me away on 3 occasions, showing all signs of a stroke, and they brought tbe CAT team in, to talk psycho babble bull shit. Do you know people have turned up at this hospitals emergency department and cut themselves with a knife to get attention, it was in the newspaper and on the radio. So on the belief theory dickheads at Lymebusters, Do I believe what the newspapers and radio tell me about that one. Go get a life KERRY.

    This is too funny to be true. No wonder people are going crazy. This will send you crazy, I can loose all concept of reality and I have to ground myself and concentrate of reality, I can do it, BUT it should not be happening. I had to resort to taking a very small amount of Seroquel last night to be able to stop my mind from thinking. I have always been a thinker nothing wrong with that. Today with my head cold I feel like I have been run over by a truck, that must be my fibromyalgia symptoms I guess!!! BULLSHIT.

    My shrink said I am allowed to take Seroquel if and when I need it. BUT I do not need Seroquel to control the unknown illness I have. This is not about spots or lesions anymore for me. I have some spots on my face, but so what I don’t give shit. I don’t pick them.

  103. Why should I get up everyday and do this insane bullshit. I want to talk to someone face to face and I want them to look after me. This is the only way to get my message to the world. It is ripping me apart. My sis came back from her holiday yesterday and she hasn’t even rang. This is because SHE believes I will never get well while I live under this roof. Her husband thinks I am delusional, well bully for him, he is a damn bully. Ex cop dickhead. He is a good husband and father, but he has turned my sis against me. So if she wants me to move out of here where do I go, back home to my parents. I have considered this because my parents are fantastic and look after me so well. I would be lost without them, I would not be here (alive) today if it weren’t for their help and of course some good doctors that have tried their best to help me.

    I am adult I need to have my own life. I like to be dependent. The company of T is good if he isn’t effected by the alcohol, we are long time mates. But both of us have been messed up through this. We both are very alone living under the one roof, good thing we have plenty of space to get away from each other, but it still doesn’t remove that depressed negative feeling that creeps into the house.

  104. London,

    As usual you post something that makes no sense. A nanocream, who cares? How is that related to morgellons. This can be filed next the the 1000 other links you have pasted with no rhyme and reason that have nothing to do with a disease you are so desperatly hoping exists. If I were you I would start concentrating on my mental health, get off the internet, stop investigaing hours and hours worth of garbage looking for a cause for something, and follow the advice I gave Sara about getting help with DOP. You would feel much better.


  105. I got so upset again yesterday morning, that I once again accussed T and the company we used to work with for doing this. Why oh why is this so? Paranoia once again, but it is very frightening. I hate the fact that I have accussed him of this twice. I have never in my entire life up until a couple of months ago accussed him, I accussed him of being a terrorist, not because I was just being stupid, but because of my complete fear and a flood of voices that came in my head, and this had never happened to me before. I was convinced that Mary was trying to tell me that USA and maybe me and who knows else is currenlty under attack through bioterriorism. I sent an email straight away to the media that she had just sent me, the kid who suicided.

    So in my paranoid moments and feeling like a robot, I phoned the NSA!!! Told them everything. I have rang everyone, and I don’t care if they think I am crazy. I have given them all the choice to investigate and come to some sort of conclusion. So do I go bagging on the door a parliament house, can someone call me a taxi or come get me!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Yes I feel like a human magnet, and I also feel that every single bit of bacteria and crap that I come in contact with on skin and air, breathing in etc all takes on its own life and personality. Then this becomes so overwhelming that I start to feel like the prey and I am totally on my own. It then strikes me as the plague, and then maybe the bird flu, which I think is bullshit, but how would I know I have to put my trust in someone, but I don’t think I can sometimes. So I choose to just spill my guts, because I know I am seriously ill, so why hold back on telling the truth.

    BUT a few weeks back the news said the months of august and september were going to be the worst for the flu and we are to apply a “no handshake policy” and wear masks. Nice to see my doc ain’t doin as the news said. He still shakes my hand. This is crap isn’t it? I am pushed from pillar to post.

    This illness interfers with my thoughts to the point where I type the wrong words which could totally interfer with the message I am trying to get across, I do try to proof read sometimes, BUT I think if I wait too long, the maggots on the internet are already checking my key strokes etc. I used to like to type stuff in word document first, I said this Michael when he said do blog, I said I will type in word document and then decide.

    Michael – remember our email this morning,you asked if I would like to start my own blog now? No I told you and I am too sick. My story can wait for another fucking day dickhead, get with the programme>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    To sign off on that shit: My very first paranoid thought – Terrorism.

  106. Sarach, you said earlier that you’d gotten more email from “Lymebusters”. It’s none of my business, for sure, but I suspect it’s not good for you, hearing from people who truly have an interest in you being UNWELL?

  107. Nanocream – I don’t think it is bullshit. Why do you think so many woman are complaining of these symptoms.

    And if you want to know my personal thoughts, I have always beieved Mary was telling me the truth and saying that the USA needs help and Australia is trying to help them and that has been me. Fuck you idiots what more do want me to say.

    I speak to a lady connected with a radio station, she tells me she is 70 yrs of age, well do you think I fuckin stupid your voice surely don’t sound that way, I could be wrong, but it just doesn’t sound like a 70 year old person.

    My take on that one. I told Chas and Cindy she was 70 years old, he was shocked, I find it so hard to believe that Chas and Cindy would be so nice to me and then apparently be doing all the nasty things some are saying. Come on dickheads wake up and smell the roses we have something very serious going on here.

    Recently with the way I have felt – like Alzeihmers disease “old timers disease”! I remember my nana and other friends who have said the same, “They would hear planes flying over their house etc” “gunmen on their roof”.

    Well I don’t just hear planes flying over, I see them. AND it is so funny because two of them have been up in the air, about 10 minutes ago. And this is not a delusion, I could round up my entire street and we can all the see that it is plane in the sky, and not a pink poodle hanging from a ceiling fan. Oh yes indeed Chas told me the terrible experiences some people have had.

    I want to wake up from this bad dream. Mary remember you told me I am your baby wallaby, I would love to think this is true. I have clung onto this and this has helped me, BUT then all the accusations against MRF and everyone has throne out my entire perspective on life, people, love..

  108. I forwarded all my contact with Lymebusters to Michael the fuckin idiot who is trying to nuture me in one sense but is not helping the situation. Michael tell them idiot what emails I sent you . Would you like me to post them here for you so you can read. I have everything you know on this computer. I did not do anything wrong.

  109. Sarach, it’s not necessary to post your emails here, I believe you did nothing wrong. I am simply concerned for your well-being, as you are clearly distraught and I don’t know how to help you :(

  110. Well why don’t you or someone else make a bloody phone call to the CDC PLEASE I HAVE TRIED, I CAN NOT GET THROUGH – I left a message of that recorded number yesterday, I have followed every link I have joined every dot that Mary asked me I knew I had to but I didn’t no why, I just new it was for the right reason. Please don’t scare me anymore.

  111. Michael – I got your email. The post I was talking about I can not find. I do not have the energy for this shit. So stop telling me you understand my fear. and if I hsve a question to ask you . I did I just emailed you. I said WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IS MY QUESTION. So If you think I am just a fucked up piece of work who is not sick you can suck on eggs also. Please you need to get with programme. This is virtually man against woman. I ask the media to come and talk to me please, contact me, ring me. They have my number I am not going to post my fucking number on the internet. If you wanna know what I know come ask me. Don’t fuckin play games.

    I have emailed the fuckin media for 18 months. Well what do you make of that one people. You keep this merry go round happening, and we are all fucked every single one of us. Got that plan and fuckin simple. Michael I am taken a break I have better things to do than play games with you. I will get a life and I will get better, hopefully.

  112. I tell you Mary must have really bad menopause or something, she tells me she is living a rat hole and then Chas tells me otherwise. Why is that. This is not via email this is on the phone.

    The phone conversations have for a long time been getting the clicking sound. We have said all the words to trigger the powers that be to listen. CDC, Terriorism, bombs, water, kiss my butt you name it. My mum and I have confirmed clicking, but she is hard of hearing, but she does have a hearing aid, so we both heard it. Me and Mary have heard it. Ha Ha Ha very heavy. Yeah shit keeps happening to my computer. You never replied to my emails Southcity, if you gave a rats arse you would have answered my questions and crys for help. No one is coming to my aid, just sucking medical information and god knows what out or me. Just so I will drop dead and not say another word. Apparently the house I live in is in the airoplane practice flight path. I wouldn’t know maybe google earth would have a better idea.

  113. Hold up once again with computer, I have broad band this shouldn’t happen. This broadband went down awhile ago when the shit hit the fan,

  114. Sarach, is the anger over ML what your main problem is right now? Anger that you need to get out over the airwaves, and the frustration is making you more angry, and everything is getting to you? I know you feel lousy enough, and being sick with a cold, I know, is making you feel even worse. Are you going to continue contact with the New Morgellons Order? Forgive me, Sarach, but Sarach just needs to try settling down and only taking care of Sarach. Let your grandfather guide you, and why not put them on the shelf, for at least the time being. Could you just consider no more contact, for just a little while, until you can breathe a little and sort some things out?

    I think if you need to, you should call the lady doctor’s office back. Receptionists are difficult sometimes, so I would ask to speak to the doctor, directly. You’ll probably have to leave your name and number, and wait for her to call you back. I would explain that I had an emergency that couldn’t wait until my September 7th appointment, and ask her if there was a way she could squeeze me in before then. If she’d happen to say to go to your primary care physician, and that is not an option, I would tell her it isn’t. If she couldn’t work me in, I would tell her that she needed to give me a name, or place, to go to and remind her, politely, that I had already explained when I got the appointment, to begin with, that I had an emergency and needed to see her right away.

    I’m sorry, Sarach, I know that you don’t want to think about being sick. Believe me, I do understand that. Please try not to be mad at me for bringing it up, but how many years ago did you find out you have Rickettsiosis? It is why you’re so ill.

    RMSF effects on the central nervous system:
    Restlessness and irritability may occur
    Altered mental status may include delirium, lethargy, and coma
    Meningoencephalitis may develop (confusion, seizures [8%], focal neurologic deficits)

  115. I only found out about Rickettsia last February. I am very ill but no one knows what is wrong with me.

  116. Spoke to my shrink today, I begged him to put me in the psych. ward – I need time out from this. Told him I am not on the pill currently and my hormones must be all over the place. He just told me to sit tight, no more doctor shopping, wait till the 7th Sept, call him Friday morning.

  117. Things are just getting more weird around me.

  118. Sarah,

    Poor thing, what the hell? I don’t understand….and Sarah, I was not playing games w/ you at all. I don’t understand what you say you don’t understand….if I did- I’d clarify for you. Honestly, I thought you thought that I was accusing you of knowing about some clandestine cloning operation when in reality, that was the furthest thing from the truth. I was just being silly with that clone poem and that is that…..did not mean to hurt you one bit…b/c I care. You ought to come to Dallas, I will help take care of you. Or if need be, I will come to you….but then again, I’d be dragging your butt out on a surf board everyday…..LOL., I care and I am here if you need me Sarah. Always will be and don’t forget that.


  119. RE: Morgellons
    Yes I am 50 years old and spend the nights thinking I am being bitten, brushing off specks, mainly black (which come off with oil) The condition got slightly better while on holiday ( a different environment).
    I reject the psychosematic theory, I am a very together person and not at all nervous. Something is going on with the nervous systom. I get restless legs severely I have had 2 years of chronic farigue,which is slightly improving now, for which there is no diagnosis but my own. I put on masses of weight and get severe pains in the joints, which started with neck in the knees( also sores in the area which are painful too, like a knawing feeling to the bones.
    These ( I thought at first were insects)cover the bed around me. Black specs come out of the lesions which I scratch, but sometimes look red like bugs. I change the sheets every day and steam.I treated myself for lice and bed bugs. If I sit too long at the computer I itch all over including tingking in the hands like small shocks. Diet wise I do not eat much processed food, but sometimes feel as if the water itself makes me itch.( it cleared up a bit when on holiday.
    I wanted to know what this is and now I find others like me, I want to know more.

  120. Hi Julia, thanks for sharing your story. This particular thread is not really about purely psychosomatic symptoms, but how the symptoms of menopause match the symptoms of Morgellons. Many other knowm medical problem produce similar symtoms.

    What does your doctor say about your problems?

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